Its the wost wonderful tiiiiime, of the year!!!!

What seems like many years ago, this time of year was the best!
Spring was here, Summer was coming, school was ending, and more importantly hockey playoffs were starting! Being a devoted Maple Leafs fan, it was also exciting because Toronto would have just added some overpaid free agent that we couldn't wait to see with them win the cup for us.. Brian Leetch, Doug Gilmour Rd 2, or Phil Housley just to name a few (Even just remember us adding Housley still makes me laugh.. He had the least amount of impact ever... ever..).. It was a great time to be 22 years old and at University..

Although Exams got in the way, your only job was to study for 4 or 5 exams, and the rest was spent watching hockey, talking hockey, chirping others about their picks in fantasy hockey playoff pools. Meanwhile, Girls were slowly shedding their outer-wear for more revealing items, and also deciding to walk, stroll, run or rollerblade in front of our porch at school! Oh, what a time to be alive! When the weather changes for the better, sometimes the simplest thing is cause to party.. "Hey, the suns out, Let's get f-ed!" When free of Life's responsibilites, its much easier to get away with this lifestyle.. I guess thats why unemployment does have some appeals..

Flash foward 5 years later, and so much has changed.. Maple Leafs are resigned to the role of spoiler (although playing better than most projections), we no longer add A-list free agents but add guys I've never heard of.. and I have a hard time getting pumped up for Hockey.. Gone are the days where I can count on cheering rabidly against my loser Ottawa friends during the Battle of Ontario, and the Leafs winning! Despite anything that happened during the regular season.. It was truly amazing.. But like most of the fans, we know our role, and are pretty much used to the disappointment by now.. Its amazing what a couple years out of the playoffs with do.

Don't get me wrong, the weather changing still is cause to party.. Until Global Warming alters the weather and it no longer gets warm ever, I'm still going to say things like, "Hey the suns out, Let's get F-ed" or "Whats wrong with you, I don't care its a tuesday, Lets get f-ed", so that side of things hasn't changed.. But the events surrounding the partying have changed. Blue Jays home openers have replaced the weeknight Leaf playoff games. But its a totally different dynamic, because there is no drama in Baseball until the fall.. Well, unless someone in your group is trying the 9 dogs and 9 beers in 9 innings and you're waiting with bated breath until the moment where they are literally full, and they puke over some poor family sitting nearby.

Plus the fact that we all work and are responsible for things these days, it does have a very different feel.. Its not a bad thing.. but its not the same..

So I can't help but feel a little worried for my Habs fan friends. At the start of the season hopes were very high.. Finishing 1st in the East last year, and a great playoff run, you couldn't help but feel this season might be their year.. And now, they're fighting for a playoff spot.. As "Dave" commented, Playoffs are not the same without the Habs... You're right, welcome to our world.. I find myself pulling for the Habs in way, because I did get behind them last year, and it was exciting.. Yeah, I could cheer for Vancouver, or the Flames, but i really don't know any fans.. Thank God Ottawa is worse than Toronto, which for sure is a victory in itself for Leaf Fans..
So my hopes of even slightly being excited for playoff hockey rests on the slumping Habs.. Goalie issues, coaching issues, booing crowds.. It could be a perfect recipe for an amazing playoff run, but it could just as easily spell for missing the whole big show..

The time of year is still great, but cheering for your favourite hockey team in the playoffs, when the weather is great, you're excited for summer, and everything else thats great (patios, cottages, tuesday nights at Big Bucks), there is no better time!! I'm convinced, it was easily some of the happiest moments of my life..

So for you Habs fans out there, I'll hope for the best.. And continue to bet against the Habs with Grimes

Tonner
First time Blogger, Long time Reader, Big time awesomer

Montreal Timeline

First off i must apologize, i've been part timing really hard this week and letting my counterpart Mr. Kitz pick up the slack for me, which he always seems to do in miraculous fashion. Truth is believe it or not that i've been busy as fuck over here so i haven't really been able to get around to posting anything of merit. However i've got a bit of a lull right now, so i figured i might as well try and spit some drivel out for the masses. So without further ado, I present to you, my weekend in Montreal as i envision it right now.

Friday

7:12 a.m.- Alarm goes off, tired as fuck, hit snooze.

7:57 a.m. - After hitting snooze 5 times i finally roll my ass out of bed and into the shower, dress for success, and show up for work 10 minutes late.

8:40 a.m. to 12:40 p.m. - Try to get shit done between fantasizing about returning to La Belle Province. Not Quebec, but the restaurant, i defy you to find a better poutine in the world, not possible.

12:45 p.m. - Getting frustrated waiting for Colin to show up, you'd think that meeting him about 3 times a week, and him always being late, would maybe teach me to show up a little late myself? Nope, i'm not that smart, Colin finally shows up 6 minutes late looking at the time with a guilty smile on his face. Douchebag.

1:45 p.m. to 4 p.m. - Try to coast through the rest of the day and then leave an hour early cause we have to pick Dave up from the airport as he is returning from a trip to California. While waiting for Dave, strongly consider pushing Julien in front of a taxi, urge eventually fades.

5 p.m. to 11:30 p.m. - On the road, traffic's a bitch getting out of Toronto, but eventually the 401 clears and it's smooth sailing. Julien doesn't pee once the whole way cause he's a human dromaderie (camel). I pee 16 times, most of which are in bottles in the car which i try to swap with people's drinks, they aren't amused. Julien falls asleep with ease. Dave regails us with golf stories. I play with myself a little bit hoping no one will notice....they do notice.....silence til we arrive.

11:30 p.m. to 4 a.m. - Quickly check into our hotel on Rene Levesque. Holy fuck i forgot how cold Montreal is. Get our shit in order, straight to St. Laurent, and over to Bifteque. Order 5 shots of whisky for 11 bucks. Dave has to take 2 cause there's only 4 of us. Get trashed unusually quick. Look at hot girls and talk about how we would love to hook it up! When one accidentally looks over, we all quickly cast our eyes downward and giggle to ourselves. Stumble to La Belle Province around 3:30 a.m., get poutines to go, eat them in our hotel rooms, 3 out of 4 of us snore.

Saturday

11:00 a.m. - Wake up.....hungover....ugh.....take our sweet ass time getting ready, good lord it looks cold outside!

12:15 p.m. - Decide it's time to make a move, it's only so often you get to come to Montreal.

12:45 p.m. to 2:00 p.m. - Finally actually make a move, and walk our asses through the downtown en route to Peel Pub, occasionally popping into a store here and there to check some merchandise we probably won't buy, but more importantly to warm up. Several times i try to grab Julien's hand and hold it as a fun little joke, he doesn't like it. Dave nuts me. He is unsuccessful however because my balls have retreated inside my body for survival. Finally arrive at the holyland.....Peel Pub.....time to get sloppy.

2:00 p.m. to 6:15 p.m. - Peel Pub is pretty uncrowded when we arrive, Dave gets a couple scattered boos due to his Leafs Jersey. We are delighted to find out they still offer their "5 Bud Lights for 9 Dollars" deal from the previous year. Julien is especially happy since he's already switched to light beer for good....pansy. Over the course of just over 4 hours, we go through 11 buckets of 5 Bud Lights, some regrettable food choices, numerous high fives with strangers due to our Habs Jersey's, fleeting moments of wondering if we're too hammered to be in public, and finally pay our tab and take to the streets for the walk to the Bell Centre.

6:35 p.m. - There she is. My Jerusalem. The temple. The Bell Centre. Can you feel that? Can you feel that energy? It doesn't matter in a given season whether one team is good and one team sucks, whenever the Habs and Leafs square off, the energy in the building is electric, this is going to be awesome.

7:12 p.m. to 9:55 p.m. - The game. Clearly the Habs win in a 5-1 drubbing of the blue shirts. Grabovski and Kostitsyn make good on their promise to scrap. I scream "YEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!! PUT HIM IN A BODY BAG!!!" I get some odd looks. Clearly some people need to rewatch Karate Kid. I feel bad when Grabovski is actually taken out in a body bag. Kovalev scores twice on the power play, and Higgins, Markov, and Lapierre all add goals of their own. Price is only beaten once on the power play when a puck deflects off a skate in front. Chants of OLE OLE OLE OLE! rain down from the stands. Insults from French Canadiens are hurled at anyone sporting a Leafs Jersey. Dave takes it all in stride. Oh and i failed to mention....our seats at the game are in the Air Canada Section, which means free food all game. Awesome. I walk out of the game feeling like a million bucks. Then proceed to puke on the sidewalk.

10:05 p.m. - Trying to decide what to do, where to go, Crescent Street? Back to St. Laurent? Strip Joint?

10:20 p.m. to 12:13 a.m. - Take a wild guess. Emily's strip club. 8 dollar lap dances, sure i've never had a lap dance before, but i can brag about knowing the prices. Instead we are cheap bastards and just watch as old french dudes get lap dances at the tables close to ours. Nurse a couple of beers and enjoy the show. I tell one stripper, "You.....youuu......you.....youlooksogood.....youlooksogood." Her lips say thanks but her eyes say fuck off. So we do.

12:30 p.m. to 3 a.m. - Bar hopping along Crescent Street until we find something off the hook. We've been drinking for over 12 hours by this point so things are getting a little fuzzy and energy is wearing thin, but how often do you actually come to Montreal? Once a year maybe twice, so gotta keep it going. I try to chat up a bartender, she tells me i'm a great friend and that i should add her on Facebook. Eventually we all admit that we're pretty much cashed. Head to Boustan for some shawarma's and garlic potatoes and then bring that shit back to the hotel room. Mark opts for another poutine from "La Belle Province" instead. We all are kind of jealous we didnt' do the same. One by one we pass out with the Tv on.

11:30 a.m. - Phone is ringing, it's the front desk, check out was half an hour ago could we please vacate the room?

12:30 p.m. - Another phone call, "yeah ok we're leaving man relax."

12:45 p.m. to 6 p.m.- Check out, grab the van, quick chat about what we should do. Stick around for another couple of hours? Head back now? Julien suggests we find a rink and play some outdoor hockey cause he's obsessed and rightly so. The rest of us shoot him down immediately because it's -50 Celsius. We decide to make the drive back. Conversation is not as lively as it was on the way to Montreal. Someone suffers from Big D. We eventually make it back to Toronto feeling like sacks of dirt, but overall agree that was one hell of a weekend.

So that's what i envision is going to happen this weekend. I'd imagine i'll be pretty damn accurate but i suppose we will see. Either way i'm pumped, GO HABS GO!

Ramblings

Nothing specific to talk about today so let's just have a nice ramble, we can talk about the news, sports, what's new in my life and the lives around me. Just catch up, wouldn't that be nice? I think that would be nice.

First off, mad props to all 17-19 year old males out there. Wait....that sounds really bad. I'm shouting out specifically to those Canadian males with gold medals around their necks. Some of you may have followed the World Juniors tournament in Ottawa this year. Some maybe saw just the final. Either way i think i will go on record and say that this was the most entertaining World Juniors i've ever watched. And i've watched them all for as long as i can remember. First off i got to see a game live, Canada's first against the Czech Republic. Sure they blew them out 8-2 but it was still a great atmosphere and had been on my "To Do Before I Die" list for a long time. Seeing as how i probably don't have much time left I'm glad i got it done. This year's team was fun to watch. So much skill and as cliche as it sounds, so much heart. They deserved to win unlike some years where the goaltending carries them through. The Canada vs. Russia game was a classic and always will be cause of the last second heroics of Eberle. And then the final, although it wasn't much of a nail biter, was still a fantastic game to watch cause they played their best game of the tournament when they needed to. So hats off to those young men, for those of us who were watching, you made us proud!

Next on the list.....let's talk about the Gaza strip! Actually let's not....i'll get depressed and i don't know enough about it. But i think many of us can agree that it's sad to see so many bodies pile up because of a piece of land, no matter how important it may be.

We haven't talked about Mike Denby in a while and i know he's always a hot topic! Specifically cause he just called me up a minute ago. The kid got his old job back! Not full time or anything, but they're going to find some work for him for a while so let's all give a Big John Denby "HEY HEY MIKEY BOY! WHAT A HOOT! ISN'T THAT JUST GREAT! HEY HEY!" Also for those music lovers out there, young Michael Robert is now in Jeff Buckley, and Mike Thompson's band "Make Your Exit". That's them in the picture above sans Mike Denby. I was fortunate enough to see their show at the El Mocambo on Friday night. Wow did they ever blow minds. They get better and better every time i see them play, and with the addition of Mr. Denby into the band they now pop boners aswell. Hmm....probably shouldn't have written that last part. Either way they're playing a show this Friday night at the Rivoli, we will all be there, and you should come too if you haven't seen them cause they're pretty much the best band in the history of music. No exageration.

Ok let's check the list, what's up next? Hmm...nothing there. So i'll just make a few short comments.

The Buffalo Bills suck, and it sucks being a fan, but i will not give up on them.

I've got box seats to the raptors game friday night, high rollin!!!

Alex Kitz wants to purchase a treadmill.

My friend and yours Peter N'geno, is due to be a father this Sunday Jan.11th! We're all very excited for him. But Peter....if the baby comes out white.....and maybe a little slow....and is blonde.....and loves weed.....well i think you know what i'm trying to say.

The Habs rule, the Leafs suck. Accept it.

Nicaragua surf trip is now only about a month and a half away, i seriously can not wait to gnar out with my brohan's in the freshy freshy.

Derek Mumford has a job interview tomorrow. If he gets it, he will be hanging with Inuits 2 weeks every month, and being paid far too much to do it.

Julien Favre cheered for Sweden in the World Juniors final last night, further cementing his position at the top of the list of "World's Largest Douchebags".

My brother will be strapping on the pads and playing goalie for my hockey team tonight. This marks the first time he's played net in 20 years. The over/under for goals scored will be set at 10. I personally am choosing over.

I filled out an expense claim for my year's worth of contact lenses yesterday, that's $445.00 worth of lenses since i wear dailies. I don't believe i filled out the form properly. So i'll probably receive a letter from Manulife Financial promptly in the mail, informing me of this. I'm not looking forward to filling it out again.

Well after rereading my final little note there i think i might have run out of things to say and probably should have stopped a while ago. Unless you guys want to hear about my pubic hair removal fiasco from the other day? No? Well we'll save that for another day then. Happy Tuesday everyone, i'll let you know how Mark does in net tonight!

Peace out,

Optimus Grime

The World of Sports through the eyes of a moron

Ah Monday....delicious Monday....what a day isn't it? New beginnings, the promise of a new work week, things blooming, you gotta love them. Actually no you don't. I hate Mondays, cause it means i'm at the very beginning of five days of pure hell. Ok maybe that's a bit of an exageration, but still it's not my favorite day, and that's compounded by the fact that my bro has this entire week off, so everyday i wake up knowing he's still asleep getting his beauty rest, while i look like shit scraped off a shoe and put in work clothes. Anyways let's do a round up of the week in sports today.

NFL:
Another great week in the NFL. No surprise there, god i love sundays. I was ecstatic to see, or at least see some of (power outage) my Bills take on the Chargers and prove yet again that they are a legitimate threat this year. Trent Edwards was so solid completing about 83% of his passes and engineering several scoring drives. For a 2nd year QB to play so calm and composed all the time is impressive to say the least. Now Buffalo is 5-1 and to make the playoffs only really needs to go .500 the rest of the year to get into the playoffs. With two games remaining against the Dolphins, Jets, and Patriots this shouldnt' be a problem. I hope i didn't just lay down a jig ol' Binx! As for my picks, well it was a successful first week and i still have one game to go, so far I'm 9-4. And man did i ever botch a couple calls, I figured New Orleans vs. Carolina would be way closer for one, and good god did i not see that shellacking coming by the Rams over the Cowboys. Tonight's monday nighter should be good, but i'm thinking the Broncos are going to take the Patriots for sure, we'll see how she rolls.

NHL:
The Habs proved once again that they are among the best in the league with their easy 4-1 victory over Phoenix which never seemed in doubt. Price is playing well, all the lines are clicking, Laraque is shit kicking people left right and center, and all this even though the boys still have some key injuries (Higgins, Bouillon and now Kostitsyn). Taking on Florida tonight at home and then Anaheim on Saturday. The Leafs looked like they were going to keep it close with Pittsburgh on Saturday night, but it appears that putting Crosby and Malkin back on the same line was a good idea. The Penguins pulled away winning 4-1, with Crosby picking up a goal and 3 assists, and Malkin equaling his point total with 4 assists.

MLB:
I've said it before, baseball is not my favorite sport, if we were ranking the 4 major North American Sports in terms of my interest, it would go NHL, NFL, NBA, MLB. But there's just something about October baseball that gets the juices flowing. (And no i'm not saying i beat off to playoff baseball). The Rays vs. Sox series was a banger. I went to bed last week with the Rays up 7-0 figuring it was over, and vaguely remember while half asleep my bro saying thorugh my door, "Yo it's 7-4 now!" and thinking, "i don't give a shit, it's still over". Then i woke up and got to watch those insane hilights. Incredible comeback, and after winning again in Game 6 it appeared momentum was on the Sox side. But i watched last night's game from about the 4th inning on and the Rays impressed the hell out of me. Their bullpen got them out of many tight jams, and they willed themselves to a 3-1 victory. David Price was beyond good in finishing the 8th and getting the save in the 9th. And that victory celebration was magnificent although i'm sure we'll be hearing about countless injuries coming from that pile on. I'm on the bandwagon, Rays in the World Series all the way!

NBA:
Not much to report here, the regular season starts Oct. 31st for the Raps, so i probably won't see the game since it's halloween. But i'm excited for yet another season of Raptors basketball. Although i have no idea who's replaced Chuck Swirsky this year as the voice of the Raps, and there's no doubt fans are going to miss the excitment he brought to the telecasts.