Merry Christmas!

Ok first off i'd just like to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas! Thanks to all your love and support this blog is now in the top three blogs of people i know that have blogs. Trailing only Stacey Bowman's TornLake blog, and Dug Stevenson's blog, which also coincidentally are the only two other blogs i'm aware of.

Christmas kind of rules in my opinion. Some would say it's for the added time off. (11 days in a row this year including weekends so i'm pretty stoked on that!) Some would say it's for the gifts. (You greedy cheesedicks!) Some enjoy the food. (Fatty fatty fat fat stick your head in gravy! Mmmmm.......gravy.) Overall though i think it's a little bit of everything that contributes to the feeling of the season. Snow, presents, family, friends, drinks, food, vacation time, new year's eve, world juniors tourney, you name it this time of year has it all.

I'm sure you're all wondering just what the hell i'll be up to this year? Well first off i'll be spending the 24th and most of the 25th at home with the fam. Then the night of the 25th i'm cruising up to Kingston with Palmer to stay at the Mumford's retirement residence, which i'm pretty pumped about because i've never seen it and i've heard it's a pretty sick pad. The Mumford's are straight up genius', many months ago they purchased tickets to the World Juniors hockey tournament, possibly the greatest international hockey tournament in the world. They have 5 tickets to every single game and have very generously allowed Derek to invite myself and Mr. Palmer along to the first two days of the tournament. So when you tune in to TSN at 7p.m. on Boxing Day, to watch Canada take on the Czech Republic, keep an eye out for me, i'll be the one quietly beating off under my jersey and crossing "World Juniors Canada game" off my bucket list.

After that I'll be returning to Toronto and having a nice long week full of......well nothing really. I'm off work and i'll be making the most of it. And by making the most of it i mean drinking, relaxing and sleeping in. Sackville is making his way to Toronto for New Year's Eve which is exciting news, we have no plans as of yet, but one thing is for sure, when all the boys are looking for their wives to kiss at the stroke of Midnight, Mike and I will be looking for each other so we can laugh at them and act like we're happy being single! Fuckin chumps eh Mike? New Year's day will be a large Grimes family fun day with all the cousins, uncles, aunts and significant others getting together. I am already once again prepared for the onslaught of "so are you seeing anyone? really? why not? you know you should really be looking to settle down eric!" To which I will respond once again with my trusty shut them up line, "actually i'm gay!" Works every time.

Needless to say i'm excited about the holidays and i'm ready for them to start now. I need this time off pretty badly. Once i return to work on the 4th or 5th or whatever the hell day it is, well then it's only about a month and a half until the event of the year, surfing trip to Nicaragua! Booya! I can do a month and a half in my sleep once i've got something to look forward to.

So Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, Kickass Kwanza, whatever it is you celebrate, celebrate it well and don't hold back. All the best.

Your pal,

eric

Happy Holidays Loyal Readers

Well, let's face it, this is probably the last you lucky ducks will be hearing from us till after the Holidays. In the spirit of the season I was going to post a Weird Al holiday song, but this is funnier:

The Best of Conan - watch more funny videos

Hypocrimes

So what's the title of this new blog entry supposed to mean? Am i talking about molesting giant african animals? Well i could do a blog about that i suppose but i cherish my freedom and what happened in the past is no one's business but my own. No it's supposed to be a little combination of hypocrite, and Grimes. Doesn't really work that well to be honest but it's already there and i'm too lazy to change it.

So why am i calling myself a hypocrite you ask? I think because in a way all of us are and it's damn near impossible to avoid. I think every last person reading this can say that at one point in their lives they've made a bold claim that came back to haunt them down the road. I just happen to make dumber, bolder claims than most.

For example, for years i've sworn against two essential items that relate to bad weather. Number one is the umbrella, and Part B is the scarf. I always maintained that umbrellas and scarves were the tools of douchbaggery. Unneccessary items for those that thought they were too good for rain and cared far too much about neck temperature. But let's take a real good look at what i'm arguing against? Other people's choice to be dry and warm. That's an absolutely ridiculous argument to make wouldn't you say? Yeah maybe but you can shut your mouth you boa wearing moisture hating turdsack.

See what i mean. Ridiculous. And while i've maintained a firm stance against these items for years, my resistance is now starting to fade. If you had performed a bag search on me through the non winter months you would have found an umbrella. A rarely used umbrella, but an umberella-ella-ella-eh-eh-eh, none the less. When it's spitting out you won't find me hidden underneath it, but in a monsoon i will admit i pop it like it's hot. And i will still continue to publicly berate anyone caught using an umbrella in the snow. As for scarves, well i still don't own one, and have never worn one when it's been my choice. (I'm sure my mom made me wear one when i was a kid and had a purple one piece snowsuit passed down from my female cousin) But i gotta admit they look sharp, clearly do a lot for warmth, and come in quite handy for us old men who now wear peacoats rather than snowboard jackets. That gap between the top button and the neck is significant.

So what's the point of all of this? I mean honestly why the hell am i writing a blog about the most retarded subject of all time? Well i don't have an answer for you, i think i just needed to ask for forgiveness from the masses, and to say yes i'm human, sometimes i make mistakes. But i mean other people do shit like that too. Let's look at Mike Denby, i mean he once said, "man i'll never ever wear a suit to work as long as i live!"....and.....well i guess he doesn't....and probably won't. But wait i got one also from Mike Denby, "man i'm never going to eat meat again, i'm a vegetarian!" And you know what dear reader! Well.....he's still a vegetarian i guess.....fuck. Ok wait i got one, he claimed he'd never get an STD! And man alive does he ever have a raging case of chl......nevermind.

Ok well that's it. This goes down as the single most retarded piece of literature ever churned out. No point to it whatsoever. Merry Christmas.

Love always, Optimus Grime