Its the wost wonderful tiiiiime, of the year!!!!

What seems like many years ago, this time of year was the best!
Spring was here, Summer was coming, school was ending, and more importantly hockey playoffs were starting! Being a devoted Maple Leafs fan, it was also exciting because Toronto would have just added some overpaid free agent that we couldn't wait to see with them win the cup for us.. Brian Leetch, Doug Gilmour Rd 2, or Phil Housley just to name a few (Even just remember us adding Housley still makes me laugh.. He had the least amount of impact ever... ever..).. It was a great time to be 22 years old and at University..

Although Exams got in the way, your only job was to study for 4 or 5 exams, and the rest was spent watching hockey, talking hockey, chirping others about their picks in fantasy hockey playoff pools. Meanwhile, Girls were slowly shedding their outer-wear for more revealing items, and also deciding to walk, stroll, run or rollerblade in front of our porch at school! Oh, what a time to be alive! When the weather changes for the better, sometimes the simplest thing is cause to party.. "Hey, the suns out, Let's get f-ed!" When free of Life's responsibilites, its much easier to get away with this lifestyle.. I guess thats why unemployment does have some appeals..

Flash foward 5 years later, and so much has changed.. Maple Leafs are resigned to the role of spoiler (although playing better than most projections), we no longer add A-list free agents but add guys I've never heard of.. and I have a hard time getting pumped up for Hockey.. Gone are the days where I can count on cheering rabidly against my loser Ottawa friends during the Battle of Ontario, and the Leafs winning! Despite anything that happened during the regular season.. It was truly amazing.. But like most of the fans, we know our role, and are pretty much used to the disappointment by now.. Its amazing what a couple years out of the playoffs with do.

Don't get me wrong, the weather changing still is cause to party.. Until Global Warming alters the weather and it no longer gets warm ever, I'm still going to say things like, "Hey the suns out, Let's get F-ed" or "Whats wrong with you, I don't care its a tuesday, Lets get f-ed", so that side of things hasn't changed.. But the events surrounding the partying have changed. Blue Jays home openers have replaced the weeknight Leaf playoff games. But its a totally different dynamic, because there is no drama in Baseball until the fall.. Well, unless someone in your group is trying the 9 dogs and 9 beers in 9 innings and you're waiting with bated breath until the moment where they are literally full, and they puke over some poor family sitting nearby.

Plus the fact that we all work and are responsible for things these days, it does have a very different feel.. Its not a bad thing.. but its not the same..

So I can't help but feel a little worried for my Habs fan friends. At the start of the season hopes were very high.. Finishing 1st in the East last year, and a great playoff run, you couldn't help but feel this season might be their year.. And now, they're fighting for a playoff spot.. As "Dave" commented, Playoffs are not the same without the Habs... You're right, welcome to our world.. I find myself pulling for the Habs in way, because I did get behind them last year, and it was exciting.. Yeah, I could cheer for Vancouver, or the Flames, but i really don't know any fans.. Thank God Ottawa is worse than Toronto, which for sure is a victory in itself for Leaf Fans..
So my hopes of even slightly being excited for playoff hockey rests on the slumping Habs.. Goalie issues, coaching issues, booing crowds.. It could be a perfect recipe for an amazing playoff run, but it could just as easily spell for missing the whole big show..

The time of year is still great, but cheering for your favourite hockey team in the playoffs, when the weather is great, you're excited for summer, and everything else thats great (patios, cottages, tuesday nights at Big Bucks), there is no better time!! I'm convinced, it was easily some of the happiest moments of my life..

So for you Habs fans out there, I'll hope for the best.. And continue to bet against the Habs with Grimes

Tonner
First time Blogger, Long time Reader, Big time awesomer

From The Headlines

Baby-Faced Man Has Baby

Courtesy of the Associated Press

Eric Grimes, pictured, welcomed his son Bertrund into the world yesterday, but not before a long argument with hospital administrators who didn't believe Grimes, 31, was actually the father.

"We thought he was the baby's brother, maybe, but certainly not the father. I mean, he looks 13." Sandy Donaldson, Chief of Staff and Toronto Mercy Hospital explained. "I don't think his voice has even broken. I don't know much about men, but I know he isn't one."

The doctors in obstetrics were also unconvinced that Grimes, a structural engineer, could possibly be the father of the 9 lb. newborn. "I treat kids every day, so I think I have a pretty good grasp on how old a kid looks and how old a kid is. In my professional opinion, Eric can't be over 14. Maybe 15, but even that's a stretch." Dr. Halladay said, visibly curious as to how Grimes was actually more than twice the age he looked. "Moreover, I just can't imagine him consummating his relationship with this woman. Like, is that even legal?"

But the day wasn't bogged down with confusion and mistaken ages for everyone. Mel Grimes, Eric's father was ecstatic. "I'm just happy he knocked up a girl" Grimes Sr. was overheard saying, shaking his head in amazement.

As for the mystery of how Eric stays looking so young, everyone has their own theories. "Maybe the fountain of youth?" suggests Colin Pearson, Grimes' assignment as Best Buddies.

"Wait, you mean he's not 14? I just assumed he came to the office on a Bring-Your-Kid-To-Work day and never left" Explained Hugh Clinton, a colleague of Grimes.

Whatever the answer, Eric seems jovial now. When reached for comment, Grimes, a giant grin on his face declared, "I happy!" before returning to his game of NHL '09.

Survival Month

I was walking down the street with Eric Quincy Grimes yesterday after a scrumptious BK Whopper meal (followed by Toby's Wings for dinner. I think I may have caught diabetes...) and he pulled a little switcheroo as we came to the street corner. I was confused, and sensing as much, Eric explained, this way, you're between me and oncoming traffic, so if a car swerves onto the crosswalk it will tag you instead of me.

Good thinking Grimes!!  And it got my mind working as to how I would escape potentially fatal situations such as that one (a car veering towards me), so without further adieu, Part 1 of my survival list for potentially fatal situations that the average fellow might find himself in.

1) Avoiding an oncoming car while on foot

If you've been suckered by the ol' switcheroo (the oldest trick in the book) and find yourself walking on the traffic side of a crosswalk and a car swerves towards you, jump. Some people may say that if you have time to jump, you probably have time to get out of the way. Shut up. That's stupid. If there is a car heading straight for you, jump as high as you can and lift your knees to your chest. If the car does strike you, at worst it will hit your ankles, and without your body weight to anchor them to the ground, you'll just spin like a pin-wheel before slamming onto the cold, cold concrete. And sure that'll hurt. But you'll probably just have broken ankles (6-8 weeks of healing) instead of a severed spinal chord. Also, if the car doesn't hit you and you clear it, that would be fucking AWESOME!!!

2) Avoiding an oncoming car or truck while in a car

Remember this? Man, who doesn't!?? That's Kirsten's car getting slammed by a garbage truck in Episode 22 of The OC, "The Showdown," just seconds after she realizes she's becoming an alcoholic. 

This specific scene has been used many times in many different films - most notably in Adaptation and No Country For Old Men but also in those messed up "Holy Shi-" Volkswagon commercials. If this is happening to you, step on the gas!! You know the saying, "like a deer caught in the headlights"? You know what happens after the deer is caught in the headlights? It is literally caught and splattered all over the headlights. Don't be a deer. There is literally NO REASON IN THE WORLD that a family car needs enough pick-up to go from 0 to 60 in 3.4 seconds EXCEPT to avoid an oncoming garbage truck. Make use of this feature. Step on it.

3) Disarming terrorists if they attempt to seize the room you are in

A handy habit that you can easily implement in your day-to-day life is always count the number of people in a room. Remember that number. If there are less than 30, the statistically there are more than enough bullets in the average semi-automatic weapon to murder/death/kill every single person in the room. If this is the case, someone is going to need to man up. Terrorist "specialists" will say that when you are taken hostage, you should always cooperate and leave the negotiations to the professionals. Well that's convenient isn't it? Of course the guys who make their living negotiating are going to say you shouldn't do it - the last thing they need is more competition. Instead think of it this way, there are three kinds of people in this world: John McClanes [pictured], Harvey Ellis' [the coked up big business negotiator] and the pregnant woman. The pregnant woman lays low and hopes to survive. The Harvey Ellis believes he can charm their way out of any problem, usually only to discover he can't. John McClane's, however, are the ones that have movies made after them (based on the assumption that Die Hard is a true story). If someone storms into a room, you should always think to yourself, "now is my time to be John McClane."

And how do you do it? Throw a chair. Chairs are generally big enough to really put someone off balance if they're hit with hit, but light enough to be lifted and thrown hard. Always look for a chair in a room that you think, if push came to shove, you could throw hard at a person standing in a doorway. Always take the seat that gives you the most direct throw at the doorway without being in a line of fire. And always try to find someone larger (who looks a little slow) who will sit between you and the doorway. 

When an armed assailant enters the room, take stock, is he pointing his gun upwards? If so, throw your chair right away, and leap over your desk following it. The assailant will be preoccupied by the chair and momentarily caught off guard. Wrestle the gun from the person and shoot them. If they have already started shooting, their potential partners won't think anything of more gunfire. If he starts shooting straight forward and/or spraying bullets, get down and count the shots. When you hear about 30, they are likely out of bullets. NOW! Throw the chair! Bam, you're the hero, end of story.

Next Week: Escaping a collapsing crane, persevere through a tiger attack, surviving being poisoned.

Awesome

Every Monday deserves something awesome, mostly because every Monday usually just screws you over instead. Like today, I went and had a delicious lunch with two upstanding young men: Eric Wendy Grimes and Colin Queerson Pearson. I saw them standing in line at the Taco Bell (note: those are awesome song lyrics - Make Your Exit, you can have them, but I want "special thanks to..." credit on the next album) so I sauntered on over, and unsure of what to get just said to the lady, "I'll have what he's having."

Well maybe Pearson's stomach has become bullet-proof from way too many extreme munchies over the years ("Pearson, do you really need to put Frank's Red Hot on pickles and ice cream?") but lordy day, has mine ever not. The #1 Meal went through me like a laser beam. #1 when I ordered it, #1 when it came out. I was screaming "AHHHHH!!" like Stallone running away from an exploding building. To quoth Grandma's Boy, "I have to pee." "Why don't you pee in the bushes?" "I have to pee out of my ass..." It was terrible. I did the penguin walk all the way from Blue Jays Way to my office holding me breath. 

But the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. So when I lost my dignity I was awarded this, the new redband trailer for Observe and Report, the blatant although clearly highly superior rip-off of beloved American icon Paul Blart: Mall Cop. Behold (warning, NSFW):

You Just Want to Shake'm!!

So somehow Eric manages to do this kind of post every other day, while it usually takes me a month or two to save up comments I want to make to the outside world. But apparently I was particularly blessed this morning, noticing not one, not two, but three things that left we really wanting to shake the person and say, "why!?"

#1 Classy Hot Girl Smoking & Drinking Tim Hortons Coffee

Now I should start off by clarifying that I don't think smoking is unattractive or attractive. I'm really neither here nor there about it. I prefer if Grimes doesn't smoke because (a) it means I'm stuck all on my own for 8-10 minutes every three hours and (b) because if he dies I'm really screwed. But for almost everyone else in the population - go nuts. And Timmy Ho's!? Man alive do I ever love that stuff. Tim Hortons is probably the only place in the world that makes me so happy that I don't mind that not a single cashier speaks even remotely passable english anymore  or that the store is always full of crazies.

*side note: last night I was accosted by a crazy man in line for coffee who explained how he only ate tuna fish, and would wait till the day before it expired, and then buy all the tins at a severely marked down price along with soon to be expired mayonnaise, mix up the tuna fish salad and spread it into an ice tray. Then, every night, he would just pop out two cubes of tuna fish salad, defrost it for a few minutes and spread it on. Actually not a bad idea at all now that I've written it down, but you have to understand that he was this scraggly old man with no teeth and dirt all over his face. THEN, when I finally got to the front of the line, I ordered the sandwich meal - I was there before class, so I was picking up my dinner - and the guy asked me what side I wanted. I asked for a cookie so he went over to the display, got me the white macadamia nut that I so craved and then turned around and looked at me, like "what else?" So I asked for another. And he looked back again, "what else?" Uh... Another one? Done. And again, "what else?" I guess 4 should be enough. Hell of a deal I thought, I only got one last time I ordered the meal. Of course the $4.70 meal came out to $9.20. "That seems a bit steep, doesn't it?" I asked. "You order FOUR cookies!!" Eugh.... It was the classic, "AND THEN..." But I digress...*

But when you put danking and Timmy's coffee together, it's not a pretty sight. Even paint and plaster covered dudes in work boots and jumpsuits look pretty damn rough sitting out in the cold having a Tim Hortons coffee and an Export Gold. So you can imagine my surprise as I turned the corner onto Queen St. from Bathurst and there was this glamorous woman - looked like a ruskie - with beautiful expensive boots, skinny jeans, an expensive jacket and a big expensive fur hat (think Costanza's) sensually smoking this long cigarette, and then taking a big haul from an extra large double double. There isn't a Tim Hortons in almost 3 miles of that intersection!! So you know she was really after that T.H.! It was stunning what a difference that coffee cup made. It was like when you see a slim bittie from behind who looks all hipstered-out and awesome, and then she turns around and she's a 60 year-old heroine addict with make-up smeared across her face like she never washed off her Joker costume after halloween. GAH! GAH! It feels like you should cough up a fur ball. That's what I wanted do to do when I saw the woman this morning. She was in front of a Starbucks!! Get a fancy drink!! I don't even like Starbucks, but I know this: if you're willing to spend $500 on a russian fur hat, buy a fucking latté!!

#2 iPod on Shuffle

Of course I listen to my iPod on shuffle all the time. Because it's your iPod! But while I was walking to work it really struck me just how dangerous this can be. I know people who just toss their iPod on willy nilly in public places. PUBLIC PLACES!! You don't know what could pop on! Hanson. "MmmBop." Good song? GREAT SONG! But you don't want that playing by accident. I recall one occasion, it was summer in Montreal. A time for lovers. I was living at 68 Duluth, just east of St. Laurent in this great apartment that had a deck out front that was mostly for my roommate and awesome friend Adam Conter, and a deck in back that looked over a tiny courtyard shared by the six apartments in this tiny building. If you sat on the back deck, the window to my room was only a few short feet away, and on warm nights you could sit out there, look up at the sky, listen to some tunes and enjoy life. 

One night I was up there with a totally bodacious babe - although obviously not as bodacious or babely as my current girlfriend, who may or may not be reading this... - and, as young bucks and buckettes are wont to do, we were smooching a bit, sharing some drinks, taking in the stars and listening to some tunes. All of a sudden, the opening riff to, "If I Had A Million Dollars." Game over.

"Is this Barenaked Ladies?"

"BNL? Uh... I don't know... I - I don't think..."

"It is! Isn't this that Million Dollar song?"

"Uh, maybe..."

"Huh...."

And that was the end of that. We stopped smooching, she suddenly remembered that she had an early morning the next day and had to leave, and I ended up being stuck with half a case of PBR and a few more hours of moonlight. Luckily I took advantage of the moonlight and gave those PBRs a good home.

I recall another occasion, a Wednesday, and I was studying with a girl who I had hooked up with the night before at Café Campus' 80s Night. I'd known her in Rez where we'd lived the year before and we got along really well. I thought she was very attractive (she was) and so the next day, I really wanted to make a proper push to see if something was there.

We were sitting around, diligently working, talking every once in a while, and listening to my iPod (on shuffle) and suddenly The Police came on. "Message in a Bottle". And I said, thinking out loud, "Eugh, sorry about this - I'm so sick of The Police, I feel like I'm saturated with these songs..." And she asked,

"Who?"

"The Police."

"Who?"

"The Police.... Sting?"

A puzzled look.

"The Police... we were at 80s night LAST NIGHT! Certainly you know one of the most influential bands of that decade."

"Nope."

"NOPE!? WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'NOPE!'"

"I don't know them."

"You don't know The Police? Syncronicity? It sold 8 MILLION records in the US alone!!"

"Sorry..."

"No... No, it's.... It's okay..."

And that was the end of that. Shuffle can mend you life / But shuffle can break your heart.

#3 The Unicycler

I'm probably the only person who is confronted by this - unless the whole world is going to complete shit faster than I'd originally thought... Every day on my walk to work there's this skinny little hipster kid - maybe 16 or so - who wears super slick clothes, keeps fashionably tussled hair, and rides a unicycle to school. Or sorry, did I not emphasize that enough? HE RIDES A FUCKING UNICYCLE!!! Now if it were a calm sunny Sunday in the middle of June and I saw a kid unicycle past me I'd either not care at all (very likely) or at least acknowledge that it was nice that a kid was having a good constructive time on a sunny summer day (possible, but much less likely). But it's a Canadian winter! If it's snowing, no problem. You'd better believe that there's one lonely track, writhing it's way up the Bathurst sidewalk. -25? there he is, just rubbing his hands together and looping up the street. And it's not like he's burning either. It's not like a guy on a bike who you feel sorry for, but  know that at least he'll be out of the cold sooner than you. This kid is struggling!! I want to grab him. I want to grab him and shake him and yell, "YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS!!" I want to shake him till that emo glaze recedes from his eyes. Shake him till he makes that awesome involuntary noise that people make when they're being shaken; yoi-yoi-yoi-yoi. "SNAP OUT OF IT YOU GOOFY BASTARD!!" Just walk. Just for a month! That's all. Wait till the snow melts. Till it's above zero degrees. Wait till you can hear birds again. Wait till this looks like a fun constructive pastime, not like the escape plan for a lunatic clown child.

But sometimes you have to acknowledge that no matter how hard you shake a person - sometimes they just don't get it.

Awesome

Each Friday we drum up some cool trivia and quotes about amazing movies and not-so-amazing movies (read: pilfer the extensive trivia catalogues of IMDb) as a little treat for those thousands of loyal fans who stick it out till Friday afternoon to make sure they've read every. single. one. of our postings. This week: Cloverfield

The story behind the marketing of Cloverfield is almost more amazing than any of the trivia surrounding the movie itself, so I will do my best to include both. 

For anyone who saw the movie - and if you haven't you should - the coolest part about the trivia is that it explains literally everything. No shot isn't there for a reason, no number or word isn't shown unless it connects to something else. It all fits together so well that the trivia, combined with the movie makes you feel like you're looking at a freshly completed cross-word puzzle. Or so I could imagine, having never finished a cross-word puzzle myself. Either way, without further adieu, Cloverfield.

CLOVERFIELD (2008)

- The first trailer for this movie played before Transformers (2007). It showed a giant explosion in the heart of New York City and the Statue of Liberty's head being thrown down a street. It was shot with a hand-held video recorder. There was no title.

- Jason (Mike Vogel) can be seen wearing a Slusho! T-shirt throughout the movie. Slusho! is a drink from J.J. Abrams' show "Alias" (2001) as well as a codename of the film's, and the shirt is the only time the beverage is acknowledged during the movie, with far more information hinted about it on the Internet.

- The film was shot in 34 days, in Los Angeles under the fake title "Slusho" and in New York under the fake title "Cheese". The Ferris wheel scene, the last in sequential order, was filmed on the first day. The scene inside Beth's parents' apartment, the first in sequential order, was filmed on the last day.

- While shooting in New York, the movie piggy-backed on the filming of I Am Legend, using the crowds and shooting permits to shoot their own scenes at the Brooklyn Bridge. In fact, the destruction of the Brooklyn Bridge shown in both I Am Legend and Cloverfield looks striking similar when watched in quick succession.

- The title "Cloverfield"; initially just a codename for the movie, is named for the boulevard in Santa Monica where the Bad Robot offices were located during the making of the film.

- The only reason people knew about the film at all was that J.J. Abrams Lawyer opened a company called Cloverfield sometime in 2005. All funds for the film were funneled through there, so no studio was publishing costs for Abrams' new movie.

- The new company, set up by Abrams' lawyer had a website. It turned out it was a Japanese company that made the specialty drink called "Slusho" (referred to above), the secret ingredient to which was a mysterious deep-water plankton that they were farming.

- There are suggestions that the deep-water plankton has something to do with waking the Cloverfield monster, angering the Cloverfield monster, or bringing it to earth in the first place. Or perhaps all three.

- The teaser trailer, as was planned, was shot before principal production began with digital cameras.

- The film has no music score and music for the end credits do not begin until 1 minute and 30 seconds after the credits start rolling.

- Prints were shipped to some theaters under the name "Bertha".

- The movie is viewed primarily from the point of view of Hud, the character who uses the camera the most. H.U.D. is short for Heads-Up Display, a method for overlaying information onto a view of one's surroundings such as Timestamps on video footage.

- During the first weekend of the release, many theaters posted signs warning guests that the hand held camera movements may cause motion sickness. My friend Kent actually barfed in the theatre.

- Lizzy Caplan (Marlena) did not know what she was auditioning for. She thought it was a romantic movie until her second audition, where she read a scene from "Alias" (2001). It wasn't until after she was offered the role that she found out it was a monster movie, and the actors weren't allowed to read the script until after they signed on.

- After signing on, the principle actors were allowed to read the whole script only once. From then on they were only given the shooting pages for that day, all of which were then collected at the end of the day and destroyed.

- The decapitated head of the Statue of Liberty in the street is inspired by the poster for John Carpenter's Escape from New York (1981), which depicts the head of the Statue of Liberty lying in the middle of the street.

- In the teaser trailer, the voice yelling "I saw it! It's alive! It's huge!" is that of Director Matt Reeves.

- The voice in the mysterious radio broadcast that plays after the end credits is director Matt Reeves.

- One of the original ideas for a title for the movie was "Greyshot," both a reference to the hand-held style of filming and the name of the bridge in Central Park where Rob and Beth take refuge.

- The voice yelling "Oh my God!" repeatedly when the head of the Statue of Liberty lands on the street is either producer Bryan Burk of J.J. Abrams. Both claim that it's them.

- The opening party scenes were filmed without music, and the guests in the background were silently pretending to talk to one another. All the music was added in post-production.

- The film begins on April 27 and ends on May 23 at the exact same time: 6.42 AM.

- Images from King Kong (1933), The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms (1953), and Them! (1954) are hidden within the film. Each image is seen extremely briefly, for only a single frame, during a camera edit. The "Them!" picture is shown at 00.24.06, the "Beast from 20,000 Fathoms" picture is shown at 00.45.27, and the "King Kong" picture is shown at 1.06.55. A brief clip of Rob and Beth at a train station is seen with the "King Kong" image at 1.06.51.

- The head of the Statue of Liberty is shown about 50% larger than actual size. CG supervisor David Vickery said in an interview that many people imagined the head being much bigger than it actually is, and that the size was increased due to complaints that the head looked too small in the trailer.

- Cameo: [Laetitia Casta] Model in the poster inside the Sephora shop exterior where Lily, Marlena, Rob and Hud stop after running from the Brooklyn Bridge, before Rob enters the electronics store.

- The rats used in the tunnel scene were specially-trained and colored with a dark, charcoal-like substance to give them the appearance of wild, dirty tunnel rats. The rats in the final shot were completely computer-generated.

- J.J. Abrams has used the number 47 extensively on past projects. In "Alias" (2001) it played great importance as a page on Rambaldi's manuscript, and as a recurring pointer to important motifs. It should come as no surprise that "Cloverfield" is the designation to the case of the images found on Area US-447. Also, in the scenes where they're taking the stairs up to the top of the skyscrapers to save Beth, one of the floor numbers filmed is the 47th.

- One of the promotional websites, Jamieandteddy.com (password "jllovesth"), shows videologs (vlogs) made by the title couple about their relationship (which turns sour). Jamie Lascano is only seen at the party unceremoniously unconscious on the couch, and Teddy Hanssen is nowhere to be found (although on 1-18-08.com, he is now identified as "missing"). The actors who play either of the two are not confirmed. Though it has been speculated that Jamie is played by Blake Lively, this is incorrect.

- The crossfire sequence was shot in one night on the Warner Brothers New York Street lot in Burbank. The extras playing soldiers fired real blanks from their weapons for the first couple of takes until 10:00 pm, when noise ordinances forced them to use quiet flash bulb alternatives.

- Eric Leven -- the visual effects supervisor -- refers to the monster as "Clover".

- According to Neville Page, creature designer -- the monster is a baby in a new environment -- "spooked" and looking for its mother.

- There are rumors stemming from this comment from Page that Cloverfield II will surround the mother coming to earth as well.

- According to Annie Pomeranz - visual effects producer - puppets were used in the scene involving the "parasites" inside the tunnel but the scene turned out to be more interactive than originally thought and CGI animation was required. However, Matt Reeves - the director - states that the scenes with the puppets were too "goofy".

SPOILERS:

SPOILER: Right before the credits, in the last Coney Island scene, as the camera looks out at the ocean, you can see a large but far away object fall into the ocean and make a splash.

SPOILER: After viewing a cut of the film, Steven Spielberg suggested giving the audience a hint at the fate of the monster during the climax. This resulted in the addition of the broadcast overheard on the military helicopter's radio, as well as the sounding of air raid sirens, both to signal the forthcoming "Hammerdown" bombing mentioned earlier in the film.

SPOILER: Hud was originally going to survive, but producer J.J. Abrams suggested having him getting eaten by the monster, allowing the audience to vicariously experience this. The scene was then planned as having Hud getting eaten instantly after turning around, but it was decided that the audience deserved a good look at the monster, which resulted in the longer shot with the monster leaning down to inspect Hud before biting and killing him.

SPOILER: It was originally intended for the Brooklyn Bridge to be destroyed by one of the monster's hands, but it was decided that this seemed too deliberate. It was changed to the monster's tail destroying the bridge, which seemed more accidental.

SPOILER: According to Director Matt Reeves in the DVD documentary, the last shot of the film, when Rob and Beth are on Coney Island, was the very first shoot of principal photography, while the very first scene in Beth's dad's apartment was the very last shoot of principal photography.

Awesome

Starting this week, each Friday I'm going to drum up some cool trivia and quotes about amazing movies and not-so-amazing movies (read: pilfer the extensive trivia catalogues of IMDb) as a little treat for those thousands of loyal fans who stick it out till Friday afternoon to make sure they've read every. single. one. of our postings. This week: Donnie Darko

Donnie Darko is of course one of Eric Q. Grimes' favorite movies of all time, which in and of itself should be internationally know trivia for the picture. But seeing as Richard Kelly has never worked with William H. Macey (triviaaaaaa!), it's of little surprise that he ignores our good friend Eric. Anyways it's in the spirit of ignoring Grimes that the inaugural launch of "Awesome" is dedicated to that funny little ginger.

Donnie Darko (2001)

- The movie was shot in 28 days, exactly the time-span of the movie itself, on a budget of under US$5 million.

- In the scene at the house party someone is shown jumping on a trampoline, wearing a Ronald Reagan mask. This is taken from a photo of the journalist Hunter S. Thompson wearing a Reagan mask while jumping on a trampoline.

- In the film Donnie refers to "Married with Children" (1987) and, more specifically, Christina Applegate during conversations about sex with his therapist. The script initially called for Donnie's fantasies to be about Alyssa Milano. This had to be changed however when Richard Kelly was denied the legal rights to reference her in this manner.

- In the theater scene, Richard Kelly originally intended to have Donnie and Gretchen going to see C.H.U.D. (1984). However, there were problems with finding out who owned the rights to the movie. Finally, Sam Raimi came to the rescue by allowing Kelly to use and distort footage from The Evil Dead (1981), free of charge.

- Noah Wyle's character, Prof. Kenneth Monnitoff, is seen eating hard candy in some scenes because Wyle decided his character would be diabetic.

- Richard Kelly's original choice for the music to be played over the final sequence was 'U2''s "MLK." After difficulties obtaining the rights to the song, it was decided to use Gary Jules' cover of the Tears for Fears song "Mad World" instead.

- Richard Kelly originally wanted Tim Robbins to play the part of Donnie's father.

- The original poster art for the movie had been using an Arabic-style font, but this was changed to the much more standard Times New Roman boldface font for the video release after the terrorist attacks on the USA of 11 September 2001. The title remains in the same style in the film, though.

- Jason Schwartzman was replaced by Jake Gyllenhaal, due to Schwartzman's scheduling conflicts.

- Director Richard Kelly modeled the tone of the film after Stanley Kubrick's Lolita (1962). Elizabeth Darko (Maggie Gyllenhaal) is even dressed as Vivian Darkbloom (Marianne Stone) from Lolita at the Halloween party.

- One of the deleted scenes involves Donnie's English class discussing Richard Adams's novel Watership Down (1978), the plot of which involves a rabbit who prophesies the impending destruction of the rabbit warren. This scene was later included in the actual feature when the director's cut of the movie was released on DVD.

- During the open shots of the Halloween Party shown later in the film, in the background the sound of a wolf howling can be heard. It is the howl of the werewolf from An American Werewolf in London (1981).

- When Donnie's mother is calling to say how they'll be on the red-eye flight, the airport announcement in the background says that Flight 2806 is boarding at gate 42 and leaving at 12 AM. Presumably this is the flight they're taking, and also a reference to the 28:06:42:12 countdown that Frank gives Donnie.

- There are 28 scenes in the director's cut of the film. (Frank says the world will end in 28 days 06 hours 42 minutes and 12 seconds)

- The movie takes place in 1988. Frank tells Donnie the world will end in 28 days, 06 hours, 42 minutes, and 12 seconds. If you add these numbers, the sum is 88. When Samantha asks when she can have kids, Donnie says: "Not until 8th grade." Donnie mentions to his therapist that his dog Callie died when he was eight. (He is later seen holding a stuffed toy dog in her office.) According to the television reporter, the fire at Jim Cunningham's house was extinguished "sometime after 8:00 last night." The climax of Donnie Darko occurs one week before the 1988 US presidential election. George Bush was elected on November 8, 1988 [11/08/88].

- The scene where Donnie corrects Gretchen was improvised because the actress could not say the word.

- The shot of the bike ride to Grandma Death's house is an homage to Steven Spielberg's E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial (1982), in which, Drew Barrymore also starred.

- The first scene in the movie is an homage to Martin Scorsese's The Last Temptation of Christ (1988). The same movie is also labeled as showing at the movie theater.

- Jim Cunningham [The Swayze] depicts drugs, alcohol, and premarital sex as "instruments of fear." In the movie, Donnie smokes a cigarette, drinks alcohol, and engages in premarital sex. The climax of the movie occurs after he surrenders to all three temptations.

- When Donnie tells Gretchen he accidentally burned down a house, they are walking directly in front of Jim Cunningham's house. The Life Line Exercise Card that Donnie reads is about a girl finding a lost wallet. Later, Donnie finds Jim Cunningham's wallet on the sidewalk outside his mansion.

- In the "Cunning Visions" infomercial, Jim Cunningham pats a child on his behind. The young boy who wants to learn how to fight at the school assembly is the same boy in Jim Cunningham's infomercial (Larry Riesman).

- The film Donnie Darko and Stephen King's It (1990) (TV) both feature a knife-wielding bully. The primary bully is named Seth Devlin. His surname is a reference to the devil. A sticker inside Seth Devlin's locker reads: "What would Satan do?"

- According to the director's commentary, the book which Eddie Darko is reading in bed is Stephen King's "The Tommyknockers", the cover of which "some bastard stole from the set". Earlier in the film, Eddie's wife Rose is reading King's "It".

- Donnie mentions the DeLorean car, which was used for time travel in Back to the Future (1985). In that film the DeLorean had to reach a speed of 88 mph to travel in time.

- Rose Darko is reading the Stephen King book "It". In the book, children in a small town are terrorized by a clown. Later in the film, we see an encounter between Donnie and a clown.

- The dance performance in the movie is actually performed to "West End Girls" by the Pet Shop Boys (Neil Tennant and Chris Lowe). Due to budgetary constraints, however, the song had to replaced by Duran Duran's "Notorious" in post-production.

- When casting for the role of Donnie's sister, it came to Richard Kelly's attention that Maggie Gyllenhaal (who had few film credits at the time) would be available for the shoot. The agent who proposed her casting reminded Kelly of her scene in Cecil B. DeMented (2000), where she drank urine. Though Kelly was slightly hesitant towards the idea, he did like the way she drank urine--and knew he wouldn't have to work hard at creating a sibling rivalry between her and her brother, star Jake Gyllenhaal.

- The song that plays as Donnie is riding his bike home in the theatrical version is "The Killing Moon" by Echo & The Bunnymen. As Gretchen waits for the school bus, a Volkswagen Rabbit vehicle quickly passes in front of her. When Elizabeth Darko is sleeping on the recliner, there is a stuffed rabbit next to her. As Donnie reaches for the car keys, there is a Polaroid picture of him and his sister in Halloween costumes on the desk. Donnie is dressed as a rabbit. When Donnie is talking to his sister after his mom leaves near the end, a "jack o lantern" bunny is seen on the table. Frank, the rabbit, often appears near a water source (sprinklers, water main, faucet).

- The words "Cellar Door" are written on the chalkboard in Karen Pommeroy's classroom. When Donnie asks about their meaning, she replies that "This famous linguist once said that of all the phrases in the English language, of all the endless combinations of words in all of history, that Cellar Door is the most beautiful." In the director's commentary Richard Kelly mistakenly attributes the phrase to Edgar Allan Poe, but it was actually J.R.R. Tolkien who, in his 1955 essay "English and Welsh", said that "Most English-speaking people . . . will admit that cellar door is 'beautiful', especially if dissociated from its sense (and from its spelling). More beautiful than, say, sky, and far more beautiful than beautiful."

- Newmarket Films, the movie's US distributor, approached Richard Kelly about doing a director's cut. He accepted the offer and did the re-edit with editor Sam Bauer in a swift nine days. Comparably, it would take him a full 5 years before he was ready to step behind the camera again to film the universally panned "Southland Tales".

- Richard Kelly received only $9,000 to write and direct Donnie Darko which had a budget of 4.5 million dollars.

- The character Karen Pomeroy's name is a reference to Wardell B. Pomeroy, a sex researcher at the Kinsey Institute.

- Seth Rogen's feature film debut.

Don't Knock Croc Rock or I'll Clean your Clock!

So i'm at work, haven't eaten anything yet today, and i have slow creeping hangover that's steadily getting worse. Also i'm about to self inflict Taco Bell on myself, which is like hitting yourself in the head with a shovel when you've got a headache. Worst....cure......ever. And why do i feel this terrible you ask? Only cause i was fortunate enough to attend the greatest Wednesday night bar in the city last night....yes you guessed it.....Crocodile Rock!So now you're probably thinking, "why the fuck are you going out and getting wasted on a Wednesday night in the first place?" Well calm down...if you could maybe just be a little patient i'll tell you.

So to set the stage, myself, Julien Favre, Jordan Blain, Dave Segal, Mike Tonner and Dave Barbaree all went to the Raptors game last night. Before hand we enjoyed a lovely meal at Hoops, the new sports bar by the ACC. They have 122 Tv's, including some in the floor. Yes you read that correctly....Tv's.....in the floor. So after our waitress made 122 mistakes with our orders, one for each TV, we took off and hit the game. Julien and i had seperate seats, and although the game had it's exciting moments, we were dismayed to see our lovely Raps lose to the well oiled machine that is the Detroit Pistons, even minus newly acquired A.I.

So post game, someone suggests we should get more drinks, because our pal David Segal, of David's Tea fame, hasn't had a proper celebration of his newly found engaged status. So the usual suggestions were knocked around, Jack Astor's, Loose Moose, and then someone, although whom it was will never be determined, suggested Crocodile Rock. It had a similar effect to asking a group of guys if they want to watch Dr. Phil, sure we all want to see that moustachiod pompous fuck send some snotnosed punk to boot camp, but no one's going to admit it. Ok i lied, we all said fuck yeah let's do it. Crocodile Rock as we all know has a legendary status as a cougar bar. So we arrived, paid the 5 dollar cover even though it was empty, and were delighted to discover wednesdays pay host to 3 dollar drinks. We sauntered in, shacked up in a great central location, between the bar, the dance floor, and the tables, and grabbed some drinks. Although the place was pretty barren, it was still only like 10:15 and i think none of us figured we'd be there for long.

But steadily, as our drink levels got lower, and our blood alcohol got higher, the place started to fill up. I was quite excited when a pack of high schoolers showed up (high school might be generous, probably more like last year at E.J. James), and a steady influx of cougars wandered in from the mountains or wherever the fuck it is that cougars call home. Before you could even utter the words, "i want to have sex with an old woman!" the place was humpin' and bumpin'! And this is why i now love Wednesday nights at Crocodile Rock. Cougars of all ages, races, shapes and sizes. Girls you feel ashamed to even look at let alone talk to since we're probably old enough to be their fathers. A nice mix of girls in between so you don't feel too out of place. And without a doubt, some of the true champions of mankind. Just absolute bangers everywhere. Moustaches coming out of the woodworks. Creepers. Skeezers. Dancers. Prancers. You name it, they were there last night. The dance floor absolutely went off with all your latest top 40 tunes. Yet it wasn't too loud so that you could have a conversation.

Now we all know that nobody picks up a women like Eric Grimes, i mean you just say that name in a crowded room and your bound to find at least one girl who's been subjected to my greasy advances. Ok well that's a lie, i couldn't hit the broadside of a cow's ass if i was sitting on it's tail with a shovel. But being at this place i actually truly felt like if i manned up for a change i wouldnt' have too much trouble. Plus i was with old Mike "smooth as a silk sheet" Tonner who unfortunately ladies, is now a taken man, but could be the greatest wingman in the history of time. However I had no intention of trying anything at all. Why you ask? Because i was having way....way.....way......WAY WAY WAY WAY too much fun people watching. I was good and sauced at this point and i honestly could have been by myself at a table creeping the shit out of people, and had as good a time as i had. Not to say that my company wasn't riveting, cause truly those boys are hard to beat when it comes to good times.

But the storylines surrounding me were too juicy to ignore. Guy in the black button up shirt just staring at the girl next to him at the bar. He was probably at least 15 years her senior. But he had a stare that could knock you on your ass at a thousand paces. Then there were the high school girls on the dance floor bouncing around and laughing....while the guy in the black beret dancing by himself slowly moved in on them. Not to mention the ongoing saga of Dave Barbaree's ever growing love for the shooter girl. She did well off of us last night. If put in the same position do you really think you could have ignored these subplots? I seriously fuckin doubt it.

As the saying goes, all good things come to an end. A couple members of the crew slowly made their exit, Favre had a big day at work, Barbaree had a train to catch, Tonner had found a friend from his softball team to chat to. So despite the feeling of being at the most glorious ball, i couldn't ignore the warning bell in my head screaming "HANGOVER!" So we left, and i'm ashamed to admit i did not follow a couple of my campatriots to the rippers. I went home. I stumbled to bed, with visions of nice bums, lodged firmly in my head.

Woke up this morning, was surprised to feel not too shabby. But you must always beware the creeper hangover. It got me good around 11:30 a.m. So will i be going back to Crocodile Rock next Wednesday? No....probably not. But i'll always remember this magical night, and maybe a little piece of me doesn't want to go back, sometimes it's best to heed good advice. And as my boss at the bar i worked at in Australia said to me on my last day, "Eric....i have one piece of advice of for you.....don't come back....cause it won't be the same...."

The Top Six Denby Grimes Moments of All Time

I've known Mike Denby for quite a while, about 24 years now and we've had quite a history. There's alot of crazy little links to our friendship, the fact that his dad is my doctor and delivered me, the fact that our little sisters were born 5 days apart and are best friends, the fact that our brothers were born 3 days apart and also are best friends, the fact that our parents regularly hang out, so you can imagine we've had our fair share of epic moments, and hijinx in those 24 years. Here's the top six moments that i could actually remember.

6.) Golfing with our dads on a golf trip in high school. We were still new to the wonderous joy of getting to drive golf carts. Add to that the fact that it was raining. We discovered golf cart waterskiing that day, which is when one guy drives, and the other hangs off the back of the golf cart and skiis behind it. Rips up the grass pretty good and rain is a necessity. However the best moment that day occurred when Mike deliberately did a very sharp turn while at the same giving me a kick with his foot, i went flying out of the golf cart and rolled on the grass for a while. The marshall of the golf course was right there. We received a stern lecture from him aswell as our fathers. Well worth it.

5.) Michael and Eric learn about life and death. Mike always used to take family vacations down south in the states, and on these trips he and his dad would pick up a shitload of fireworks. So Mike was always loaded down with Cherry Bombs, M-80's, Bottle Rockets, Smoke Bombs, Huskerdoo's, Huskerdon'ts, etc. etc.....So one day we caught a couple of frogs and put them in a tennis ball container. We poked a hole in the lid and stuck the wick of a M-80, which is a much more powerful cherry bomb basically, through the hole so it was hanging into the container. We lit the wick, once the fuse got down to the hole the M-80 would drop in, and KABOOM! The tennis ball container with the frogs would fly up in the air, top would come off, smoke comign out. One frog didn't make it, the other was barely alive. Needless to say Mike and I were not pleased with ourselves after that. We both felt really bad and that was the last time we were cruel to animals.

4.) Mike and Eric get arrested. We were out bowling one night, when we get a call from the girls we were hanging out with at the time. They made a bunch of inuendo's about toilet paper. We went out to our friend Colin's van in the parking lot, and sure enough, it had been toilet papered to shit. So rather than let it go, we went to the Grocery Store and bought some eggs. We found their car in the parking lot, and Mike, myself, and another friend Tyler shelled it real good and then called them up and made our own inuendos about eggs. They called us back and said they didn't know what we were talking about. UH-OH!! Same car, same color, same parking lot....different license plate. And someone had seen us do it and taken my friend's plate number down. Mike and I were charged with vandalism over 5000 dollars, had to be taken to the police station by my mom, she watched as i was fingerprinted and photographed. However we were lucky cause the judge knew it was a prank gone wrong, we wrote letters of apology and were given "alternative measures", which meant our record was erased when we turned 18.

3.) Mike almost knocks Eric's head off his body. Mike had a kickass treehouse and play area in his backyard including a seesaw. One of our favorite games was to take action figures and other assorted toys, place them on one end of the seesaw, and then slam down the other end and catapult whatever it was into the air. So we were playing one day, we were probably about 8 or 9 years old, i was placing the toy on one end, Mike thought i was ready. I wasn't. Seesaw came flying up, smashed me in the eye, i went flying backwards, and Mike ran away screaming "I killed him! I killed my best friend!" In fact i wasn't quite dead, but i was definitely not on planet earth for a few minutes. Mrs. Denby eventually came out, brought me inside, gave me some frozen peas to put on my face, and instructed me that when i went to bed that night, i shoudlnt' sleep on the side with the swollen eye or the blood would drain down that way and make my eye swell up more. Well i obviously wanted a kickass black eye so i deliberately slept on that side. It was huge the next day, which was a stupid mistake. Mike also hit me in the head with a baseball bat once on a follow through. My own fault though, i had been warned to take a step back.

2.) Eric is forced to leave the Denby household. Mike and I had been playing a video game called Road Rash 3 on Sega Genesis all day. There was a cheat involved in the game where if your bike was going to blow up, you could run away from it and get picked up by the cops instead, which was way cheaper than fixing your motorcycle. Mike's brother Dave was playing a race, and the bike was beat up and about to blow after a crash, Mike yelled to Dave, "RUN AWAY FROM IT RUN AWAY FROM IT!" Dave looked back over at Mike, flashed a little evil smile, and then deliberately ran back to the bike causing it to blow up. Mike screamed, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" and charged Dave. They started fighting. Dave's friend Bryan tried to hold Dave back by holding his arms. Mike chose that moment to boot Dave in the nuts. Dave lost it and the fight was back on. Mrs. Denby heard the commotion and came down and informed me that, "i think you should go home.....". So i did.

1.) Mike and Eric get scared shitless. In Australia, Mike and i are both nearing the end of our respective trips, and are staying near Byron Bay in a surf instructor's house for a week. We have a few days left in our week long stay their. We'd been surfing so far all week at this beach about ten minutes away. So we were out in the early afternoon waiting for the first waves of the day. I'm lying on my board facing the beach, Mike's about ten feet in front of me, and five feet to the left. All of a sudden, straight in front of me a large fin pops out of the water and starts to glide right at me. I say to Mike, "is that a fuckin dolphin?", he says back, "I DON'T THINK SO!" Mike obviously hightails it immediately and starts paddling like crazy. While im forced to watch this fin glide straigh at me, about 5 feet away it slowly slides under the water and i'm left lying on my board wondering what to do. I wait about ten seconds to make sure it's not right under me before i start paddling harder than i ever have before. We were pretty far out, so it took a while, and the whole time i was convinced this thing was right behind me the whole way. Plus i couldnt' catch a wave to save my life. Mike had caught a wave and tried to surf it in but had fallen off and was also convinced he was a dead man. We finally both made it to the beach, stared at each other in disbelief, and went home for the day. Proud to say we were both back in the ocean surfing the next day though.

Afternoon Delight