The Most Amazing Things Ever

Sometimes in life there are certain things that just bring you more pleasure than a normal person can almost stand. Things that make you whisper to yourself....."too good.....too good!" They're different for each person of course, cause everyone is wired differently and everyone takes pleasure in different things. So i'm just going to write some things down here that bring me entirely too much pleasure. I'll try not to let it get weird. No promises.

Clementines - are you kidding me? Are these things not absolutely ridiculous or what? I mean how the hell does a fruit taste this good? These things are like candy. Although it is possible to get a bad batch, for the most part, they really tear shit up.

Outdoor Hockey - a gift from the gods. Playing outdoor at Hairy Gairey park at Dundas and Bathurst, on a cold but not too cold night right after a flood. The ice is insanely fast, there are no fights, no arguments, just a bunch of people who want to play hockey zipping around. You'd think with no goalies, and no raising the puck, it would be less fun, but you would be wrong.

Dairy Queen Blizzards - These do not get nearly enough credit. Not even close. Ice cream all blended up mixed with chocolate or whatever the hell you want to put in there. I think the devil steals part of your soul everytime you get one as payment for giving you something so sinful. Maybe that's why i get one like twice a year. Just don't turn it upside down before you give it to me ok? Like i know it probaby won't fall out.....but if it does i'm going to fuckin kill you!

EA Sports NHL games for Xbox - Every year i think the same thing. How are they going to make it better? How are they going to change it? They're going to fuck it up aren't they? And then i play it. And the first game i think...."it's alright". The second game...."actually that's kind of cool!" The third game...."how did they come up with that?" And finally the fourth game i just whip it out and have a tug. I only really play by myself Saturday or Sunday mornings before my bro's awake....that's my special time, wouldn't trade it for anything.

Concentrated Orange Juice - I prefer it to Tropicana or whatever else you can buy in a carton. Give me the little can full of frozen goodness, and then 3 cans of water and you've got a happy man. Bonus points for filling a glass and putting it in the freezer, couple hours later you got yourself an orange juice slushy, i ain't shittin' ya!

Derek Mumford's nicknames - Derek has had more nicknames over the years, then i have had sexual partners. Which to be honest really isn't too hard to do, but still. Catscan, Long Arms Bluntford, The Weedman, The Shivering Ghost, Awkward McMumford, Big Juicy Van, The Comfort, and there have been plenty more to boot. Each one is fantastic and fits him like a glove, or more appropriately, a back brace.

Surfing - Are any of us any good? No not really, but it doesn't matter. Surfing has so many positives going for it, and is so different from any other sport. First off...the workout is incredible, which you don't realize until your first time back on a board after a long time. OWIE OWIE OWIE MY ARMS! Hanging out in big blue, with your legs dangling in the water, and sitting with your brohans scattered around you, shooting the shit, waiting for a set of waves...well that's almost as good as catching a wave itself. I said almost. Cause the feeling of catching and riding a good wave.....well that's what we like to call feeding the soul right there. That's a four course meal.

Sex - I'm told it's quite good.

Honourable Mentions - Masturbation, Heroin, General Tao Chicken

Please feel free to comment on this blog and tell me some of your favorite things, cause i'd love to know!

"Each day's a gift!" -Cancer boy in Brain Candy