Out of Left Field

First off I would like to give thanks to Mary Jane for providing the time in your hectic life to let myself watch and enjoy as a voyeur of your sexcapade with Redman. God, that was a great concert. I can't believe how crazy Red really is. Before I tell this story and many other random stuff, I am known as AK [Editor's Note: A different AK from editor Alex Kitz who does not smoke dope or practice medicine] because I cannot have my name posted on this blog due to my professional career. When you get into medicine, the whole world stares you down and are just waiting for you to make a mistake so the MAN can fuck you up and take away that license. And what then??? Nothing, I'll be screwed and will forever be known as the guy who wrote the blog that chronicled his past life smokin' out and got fired. The Next Cheech and Chong doctor. But I won't write anything about myself doing any of that stuff because well let's say, MJ and myself divorced. That was a lifetime ago. But you are probably thinking his name is AK??? Just like the AK47? Exactly. Burrraap Blap Blap! If only that was how the Kalshenikov sounded. I am a virgin to the internet blogging world and I am really excited like Denby for the first time in his life actually giving a fuck about making sweet sweet love to his bitches.

To tell you the truth, the last time I have seen Grimes, Denby, Dougie Fresh and Julien would have to be 4-5 years ago. But I did meet them in 2001 and boy, do I remember it like yesterday. The glorious 1st year of McGill. Which reminds me, Grimes, I owe you $5. It was for the night when we all went to the Peeler and that night I puked up 24 $1 shots of B-52s while I was sleeping and I ended up wanting to sleep in my own puke but Kweku (my roommate) was not having any of that. The $5 came in when I had no money the next day to wash my bedsheets. But I digress.

I went to a Redman concert in Poland while I was there doing medical school. My brother, a couple of my friends and myself were the only ones that spoke english and were able to get backstage. We kicked it with DJ Kool. He's a cool motherfucker. Meanwhile, Red is fuckin' crazy. During the concert, he climbs two stories high off some balcony that overlooked the venue and dove mosh style into the crowd. It was insane! I even have a picture at the time him crashing into us as we saved his ass from having a broken back. It was gravy!

So lately, I've been racking up the mileage in Cougarville. Such a great place to be. There's the great NSA policy. I don't know what it is with cougars but after watching John Cho make out with Stiffler's mom, I've been down with cougars. I should be Mayor of that city. I am sure to get elected by a landslide. I remember one time I met this hottie whose husband and kids were out of town and I went to her place and there she was when I rang the doorbell, in a fuckin' schoolgirl outfit. I looked up into the sky and gave my thanks to Britney Spears. Sometimes the best part about cougars is the fact, you can go bareback. Its great because I've been able to have the opportunity to bust multiple nutz inside of 'em LOL. I know it sounds dirty, but I do not give a fuck. Don't hate the player, hate the game.

On another note, I've watched a few movies in my spare time while I've been taking breaks from studying for my licensing exam. I just saw TAKEN. That movie is fucking great. One of the best movies I have seen. I do not want to ruin this movie for anyone but the scene with the RED DOOR is gold. This movie surrounds this guy who is ex-CIA and his daughter gets kidnapped while backpacking through Europe, and he goes on a rampage to find his daughter. That's it. That's all you need to know. Also, I saw SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE and that movie's depiction about the slums of India is pretty much reality. That movie reminded me of City of God with the portrayal of the Brazilian slums. Same idea. Or that movie with the gangster kid from South Africa. I do not recall the name of that movie for some reason and its going to bug the hell out of me [Editors Note: It was the 2005 movie Tsotsi]. I hope someone knows what I am talking about. That all depends if you did not get bored of my blog and are reading on.

Lastly, I think I am starting to hate the radio. All I hear is the same shit over and over again. Its really starting to piss me off. There is music that I like so much that I hate after hearing it a ridiculous amount of times on the radio. Like 'Ooops I did it again' by Britney Spears. Such a great song. Everytime I bust a nut in a cougar, that's what I think about haha. Well not really, but you get my dirty joke, I would hope. But seriously, its popcorn music that people like, the catchy shit. Someone can make a loop of when you hear the ice cream truck rumbling down the street. I bet there is a song out there already with that sample. Bastards! Eminem dropped a new single called 'Crack a Bottle' and its such a good song, but I will probably hear it on the radio so much that I will just end up wishing that I heard 'OOops I did it again' one more time. For those that do not know about hip hop, Phonte from Little Brother dissed Kanye West for biting the auto-tuning from T-Pain. I agree with him on this issue. If you guys have never heard of Little Brother, they are the sickest hip hop group out there. Just fuckin' good music. And they can rap and sing quality. If you heard Kanye West try and sing, he really can't. His voice sounds ok on his album but when he is live, he starts crackin' up and his flaws show up big time. In the studio, it was bearable to listen to but I just get turned off everytime I see his live singing. Just bad! He sounds like a deaf kid trying to sing. I know this secondhand. The only people that should be allowed to use the Roger Troutman synthesizin' is Erick Sermon. That man makes the dopest beats out there. Sure Dr. Dre is a given, but if you did not know, Eric Sermon learned a lot from Mr. Troutman and his implementation of the synthesizer in the beatz are off da hook.

I think that is more than enough chroniclin' now. I'll throw down some more stuff later on in life. Peace out!