The Monday Screw (cont'd)

So Grimes loves to tell hilarious stories from his past, but I've got a few too.

So around February of 2008 we were all heading down to Costa Rica for a little surf trip. Now this story happens to start with a little screw right off the bat: I was going down a week early, taking a full two weeks off of work and getting in a shitload of trouble for it, but it was worth it because I was going down with a good friend Mike Sackville. 

Sackville even made us change the date we were going down so he could come along. And that date was changed without anyone blinking! Well worth it to have ol' Mikey boy. Anyways, all the other gents were going down a week late, but Sackville and I were going to chill and surf and have a good time.

Did Sackville end up coming down? Oh lordy day no. So I ended up heading down to CR with nothing but a tent and sleeping bag and board for the week, waiting for the rest of the crew to show.

So naturally, looking down the pipe at a week alone, I decide that the night before I fly I should have a few drinks with the boys. 

Now back in February, Jimmy Doug Stevenson lived with us and he and Tym Frank and I used to frequent a place called Molly Bloom's on Thursday nights. $3 pints and $3 grilled cheese sandwiches with fries. And man alive were those sammiches ever fucking good! So for my last night for a couple of weeks, Molly's seemed like a good choice.

So right after work we sauntered down. And we called up some more peeps too. So by the time we were drinking, we had a good booth sized group carrying on in revelry with us. Included in that group was a lovely young woman who I was attempting to woo at the time. But that's neither here nor there - for now. So as we're consuming more and more booze and all having a good time, suddenly through the front doors come the Budweiser Air Crew (essentially just a bunch of hot babes in stewardess uniforms giving out free beer). And you'd better believe they wanted us to drink more. And so we did. And it was good. And in fact we all drank enough that by the end of the evening (closing time, around 4.5 hours before my flight was to depart) this young woman, this apple of my eye, was sufficiently inebriated to find me attractive enough to come home with.

Mmmmmmrack-POT!

Sadly, I was sufficiently inebriated that I could not physically express my affection for this young woman.

How can I put this... Whiskey Dick? Yes, that will do quite nicely. So I was a useless hunk of bastard. I passed out and around 6 hours later awoke with a splitting headache in an empty bed about 4 hours late for my flight. Shit.

It had departed. Long gone. I had fucking missed my flight.

I leapt into a cab and burned rubber to the airport. Explained that I'd been in an accident on the highway and missed my flight. They kindly put me on the next one out - the next morning at 6:45.

So I went home, licking my wounds and before falling back asleep I hoped online and posted the story you see above on Grimes' Wall (back then we were all about the Wall. And then this happened... and we had to curb our usage...).

And that was the end of that. I flew out to CR the next morning, had a great time. A week later the boys came down. And we all had a great time too! Good times all around!

When I returned I was tanned and happy. Happy because of the trip, but mostly because that little bitty I was hitting on before I left was still somewhat interested in me! Magnificent! So one night we're talking on the phone. I am likely whispering sweet nothings when she asks, "so what do you know about Facebook?"

"Facebook!! Well, you have come to the RIGHT PLACE! What do you need to know?"

"Well, you know Walls right? How many people can see a wall?"

"That depends on your security settings I guess... But pretty much just the people you know."

"Okay."

"Why?"

"Well, for example, when you wrote about us trying to have sex... How many people saw that post?"

"Oh... oh good lord...."

"Yeah... maybe in the future you can refrain from using my name and the word 'whiskey dick' in the same sentence?"*

"Uh, yeah, I think I can do that..."

It turned out that someone, someone who knew both Eric and I, someone who may or may not have been from Oakville, someone who I would have trusted had seen the post and immediately brought it to this young woman's attention. Man alive did I ever eat shit for that one. And no doubt that getting turned in for that posting was the biggest screw I've ever had put on me in my entire life.

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*editors note: the wishes of the young woman were respected from that day forth. That is why at no point have I insinuated in any way shape or form who that woman is or used her name in the same sentence as "whiskey dick"