I've known Mike Denby for quite a while, about 24 years now and we've had quite a history. There's alot of crazy little links to our friendship, the fact that his dad is my doctor and delivered me, the fact that our little sisters were born 5 days apart and are best friends, the fact that our brothers were born 3 days apart and also are best friends, the fact that our parents regularly hang out, so you can imagine we've had our fair share of epic moments, and hijinx in those 24 years. Here's the top six moments that i could actually remember.
6.) Golfing with our dads on a golf trip in high school. We were still new to the wonderous joy of getting to drive golf carts. Add to that the fact that it was raining. We discovered golf cart waterskiing that day, which is when one guy drives, and the other hangs off the back of the golf cart and skiis behind it. Rips up the grass pretty good and rain is a necessity. However the best moment that day occurred when Mike deliberately did a very sharp turn while at the same giving me a kick with his foot, i went flying out of the golf cart and rolled on the grass for a while. The marshall of the golf course was right there. We received a stern lecture from him aswell as our fathers. Well worth it.
5.) Michael and Eric learn about life and death. Mike always used to take family vacations down south in the states, and on these trips he and his dad would pick up a shitload of fireworks. So Mike was always loaded down with Cherry Bombs, M-80's, Bottle Rockets, Smoke Bombs, Huskerdoo's, Huskerdon'ts, etc. etc.....So one day we caught a couple of frogs and put them in a tennis ball container. We poked a hole in the lid and stuck the wick of a M-80, which is a much more powerful cherry bomb basically, through the hole so it was hanging into the container. We lit the wick, once the fuse got down to the hole the M-80 would drop in, and KABOOM! The tennis ball container with the frogs would fly up in the air, top would come off, smoke comign out. One frog didn't make it, the other was barely alive. Needless to say Mike and I were not pleased with ourselves after that. We both felt really bad and that was the last time we were cruel to animals.
4.) Mike and Eric get arrested. We were out bowling one night, when we get a call from the girls we were hanging out with at the time. They made a bunch of inuendo's about toilet paper. We went out to our friend Colin's van in the parking lot, and sure enough, it had been toilet papered to shit. So rather than let it go, we went to the Grocery Store and bought some eggs. We found their car in the parking lot, and Mike, myself, and another friend Tyler shelled it real good and then called them up and made our own inuendos about eggs. They called us back and said they didn't know what we were talking about. UH-OH!! Same car, same color, same parking lot....different license plate. And someone had seen us do it and taken my friend's plate number down. Mike and I were charged with vandalism over 5000 dollars, had to be taken to the police station by my mom, she watched as i was fingerprinted and photographed. However we were lucky cause the judge knew it was a prank gone wrong, we wrote letters of apology and were given "alternative measures", which meant our record was erased when we turned 18.
3.) Mike almost knocks Eric's head off his body. Mike had a kickass treehouse and play area in his backyard including a seesaw. One of our favorite games was to take action figures and other assorted toys, place them on one end of the seesaw, and then slam down the other end and catapult whatever it was into the air. So we were playing one day, we were probably about 8 or 9 years old, i was placing the toy on one end, Mike thought i was ready. I wasn't. Seesaw came flying up, smashed me in the eye, i went flying backwards, and Mike ran away screaming "I killed him! I killed my best friend!" In fact i wasn't quite dead, but i was definitely not on planet earth for a few minutes. Mrs. Denby eventually came out, brought me inside, gave me some frozen peas to put on my face, and instructed me that when i went to bed that night, i shoudlnt' sleep on the side with the swollen eye or the blood would drain down that way and make my eye swell up more. Well i obviously wanted a kickass black eye so i deliberately slept on that side. It was huge the next day, which was a stupid mistake. Mike also hit me in the head with a baseball bat once on a follow through. My own fault though, i had been warned to take a step back.
2.) Eric is forced to leave the Denby household. Mike and I had been playing a video game called Road Rash 3 on Sega Genesis all day. There was a cheat involved in the game where if your bike was going to blow up, you could run away from it and get picked up by the cops instead, which was way cheaper than fixing your motorcycle. Mike's brother Dave was playing a race, and the bike was beat up and about to blow after a crash, Mike yelled to Dave, "RUN AWAY FROM IT RUN AWAY FROM IT!" Dave looked back over at Mike, flashed a little evil smile, and then deliberately ran back to the bike causing it to blow up. Mike screamed, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" and charged Dave. They started fighting. Dave's friend Bryan tried to hold Dave back by holding his arms. Mike chose that moment to boot Dave in the nuts. Dave lost it and the fight was back on. Mrs. Denby heard the commotion and came down and informed me that, "i think you should go home.....". So i did.
1.) Mike and Eric get scared shitless. In Australia, Mike and i are both nearing the end of our respective trips, and are staying near Byron Bay in a surf instructor's house for a week. We have a few days left in our week long stay their. We'd been surfing so far all week at this beach about ten minutes away. So we were out in the early afternoon waiting for the first waves of the day. I'm lying on my board facing the beach, Mike's about ten feet in front of me, and five feet to the left. All of a sudden, straight in front of me a large fin pops out of the water and starts to glide right at me. I say to Mike, "is that a fuckin dolphin?", he says back, "I DON'T THINK SO!" Mike obviously hightails it immediately and starts paddling like crazy. While im forced to watch this fin glide straigh at me, about 5 feet away it slowly slides under the water and i'm left lying on my board wondering what to do. I wait about ten seconds to make sure it's not right under me before i start paddling harder than i ever have before. We were pretty far out, so it took a while, and the whole time i was convinced this thing was right behind me the whole way. Plus i couldnt' catch a wave to save my life. Mike had caught a wave and tried to surf it in but had fallen off and was also convinced he was a dead man. We finally both made it to the beach, stared at each other in disbelief, and went home for the day. Proud to say we were both back in the ocean surfing the next day though.
6.) Golfing with our dads on a golf trip in high school. We were still new to the wonderous joy of getting to drive golf carts. Add to that the fact that it was raining. We discovered golf cart waterskiing that day, which is when one guy drives, and the other hangs off the back of the golf cart and skiis behind it. Rips up the grass pretty good and rain is a necessity. However the best moment that day occurred when Mike deliberately did a very sharp turn while at the same giving me a kick with his foot, i went flying out of the golf cart and rolled on the grass for a while. The marshall of the golf course was right there. We received a stern lecture from him aswell as our fathers. Well worth it.
5.) Michael and Eric learn about life and death. Mike always used to take family vacations down south in the states, and on these trips he and his dad would pick up a shitload of fireworks. So Mike was always loaded down with Cherry Bombs, M-80's, Bottle Rockets, Smoke Bombs, Huskerdoo's, Huskerdon'ts, etc. etc.....So one day we caught a couple of frogs and put them in a tennis ball container. We poked a hole in the lid and stuck the wick of a M-80, which is a much more powerful cherry bomb basically, through the hole so it was hanging into the container. We lit the wick, once the fuse got down to the hole the M-80 would drop in, and KABOOM! The tennis ball container with the frogs would fly up in the air, top would come off, smoke comign out. One frog didn't make it, the other was barely alive. Needless to say Mike and I were not pleased with ourselves after that. We both felt really bad and that was the last time we were cruel to animals.
4.) Mike and Eric get arrested. We were out bowling one night, when we get a call from the girls we were hanging out with at the time. They made a bunch of inuendo's about toilet paper. We went out to our friend Colin's van in the parking lot, and sure enough, it had been toilet papered to shit. So rather than let it go, we went to the Grocery Store and bought some eggs. We found their car in the parking lot, and Mike, myself, and another friend Tyler shelled it real good and then called them up and made our own inuendos about eggs. They called us back and said they didn't know what we were talking about. UH-OH!! Same car, same color, same parking lot....different license plate. And someone had seen us do it and taken my friend's plate number down. Mike and I were charged with vandalism over 5000 dollars, had to be taken to the police station by my mom, she watched as i was fingerprinted and photographed. However we were lucky cause the judge knew it was a prank gone wrong, we wrote letters of apology and were given "alternative measures", which meant our record was erased when we turned 18.
3.) Mike almost knocks Eric's head off his body. Mike had a kickass treehouse and play area in his backyard including a seesaw. One of our favorite games was to take action figures and other assorted toys, place them on one end of the seesaw, and then slam down the other end and catapult whatever it was into the air. So we were playing one day, we were probably about 8 or 9 years old, i was placing the toy on one end, Mike thought i was ready. I wasn't. Seesaw came flying up, smashed me in the eye, i went flying backwards, and Mike ran away screaming "I killed him! I killed my best friend!" In fact i wasn't quite dead, but i was definitely not on planet earth for a few minutes. Mrs. Denby eventually came out, brought me inside, gave me some frozen peas to put on my face, and instructed me that when i went to bed that night, i shoudlnt' sleep on the side with the swollen eye or the blood would drain down that way and make my eye swell up more. Well i obviously wanted a kickass black eye so i deliberately slept on that side. It was huge the next day, which was a stupid mistake. Mike also hit me in the head with a baseball bat once on a follow through. My own fault though, i had been warned to take a step back.
2.) Eric is forced to leave the Denby household. Mike and I had been playing a video game called Road Rash 3 on Sega Genesis all day. There was a cheat involved in the game where if your bike was going to blow up, you could run away from it and get picked up by the cops instead, which was way cheaper than fixing your motorcycle. Mike's brother Dave was playing a race, and the bike was beat up and about to blow after a crash, Mike yelled to Dave, "RUN AWAY FROM IT RUN AWAY FROM IT!" Dave looked back over at Mike, flashed a little evil smile, and then deliberately ran back to the bike causing it to blow up. Mike screamed, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" and charged Dave. They started fighting. Dave's friend Bryan tried to hold Dave back by holding his arms. Mike chose that moment to boot Dave in the nuts. Dave lost it and the fight was back on. Mrs. Denby heard the commotion and came down and informed me that, "i think you should go home.....". So i did.
1.) Mike and Eric get scared shitless. In Australia, Mike and i are both nearing the end of our respective trips, and are staying near Byron Bay in a surf instructor's house for a week. We have a few days left in our week long stay their. We'd been surfing so far all week at this beach about ten minutes away. So we were out in the early afternoon waiting for the first waves of the day. I'm lying on my board facing the beach, Mike's about ten feet in front of me, and five feet to the left. All of a sudden, straight in front of me a large fin pops out of the water and starts to glide right at me. I say to Mike, "is that a fuckin dolphin?", he says back, "I DON'T THINK SO!" Mike obviously hightails it immediately and starts paddling like crazy. While im forced to watch this fin glide straigh at me, about 5 feet away it slowly slides under the water and i'm left lying on my board wondering what to do. I wait about ten seconds to make sure it's not right under me before i start paddling harder than i ever have before. We were pretty far out, so it took a while, and the whole time i was convinced this thing was right behind me the whole way. Plus i couldnt' catch a wave to save my life. Mike had caught a wave and tried to surf it in but had fallen off and was also convinced he was a dead man. We finally both made it to the beach, stared at each other in disbelief, and went home for the day. Proud to say we were both back in the ocean surfing the next day though.
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2 comments:
perhaps the greatest list/chronicle of our time.
grimes, you've outdone yourself
interesting indeed.
I have a slightly different memory of the shark attack story. Mainly that when we first saw it, it was actually in front of both of us, and that was when the "is that a fucking dolphin" "i dont' think so" interaction occurred. I believe it then submerged completely leaving us both filled with panic, but you're right, i was in front of you, i just don't remember looking back initially to see the fin. The most frustrating part of that story was that nobody believed us that we saw a shark, especially not that big burly bastard plenko who we were shacking up with.
The road rash incident was a good one. Mainly because I got my just desserts. I think everyone realises you dont' kick a guy in the nuts. Especially when he's being restrained from dominating you on every level imaginable. All i remember is that one ending with me in a heap on the ground and my brother spitting on my face.
I'm not sure if that was the only time you've been sent home due to fights with dave either. Big Nance was never one to pussyfoot around sending the friends home if things were getting out of hand, and if they were, there was usually some coca cola involved in firing me up.
Also, you can definitely back me up on this one. I'm not sure if anything has ever felt as good nor have I laughed as hard as when we were just tossing those eggs all over that poor car. it was magical and definitely could've warranted a slow motion sequence with music in any coming of age teen movie.
ps fuck off
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